5 Steps To Create A Healthy Relationship With Food

I’m sure you’ve heard about or even desire to have a healthy relationship with food. But, what is it exactly? Why is it so important?

A healthy relationship with food means that you are not questioning all of your decisions around food - you are not labeling foods as “good” and “bad”, nor or you left feeling guilty, ashamed, or upset by anything that you eat. 

In the mindful eating cycle, a healthy relationship with food means you can ask yourself, “where do I want to invest my time?” and it is no longer in unnecessary thoughts around food. 

You have to eat food every day to survive, but it shouldn’t consume your thoughts and actions. Having a healthy relationship with food does not mean going on a diet. If you overanalyze food choices, label certain foods or restrict them, then that is not a healthy relationship with food.

A healthy relationship with food means getting rid of your diet and all the rigid rules.

Here are 5 tips to build a healthy foundation to having a healthy relationship with food.

1) Allow Yourself Access To All Foods

This one is hard for many people to accept, but to have a healthy relationship with food, you must allow yourself access to all foods. This means if you randomly feel like having a donut with your breakfast on a Monday, have it! 

When you don’t allow yourself to have certain foods, they subconsciously are seen as more desirable. It’s the same thing with kids - if we constantly deprive them of having sweets or use them as bribes, we are putting those foods on a pedestal. This gives the food much more power over your thoughts, where you think about how you can’t have ice cream and it becomes so tempting!

When you do finally get your hand on the “bad” food, you’re probably going to eat a lot of it…and fast… and not even enjoy it. Then you will feel guilty, tell yourself it’s “bad” and you can’t have it, and the cycle continues! It’s madness! 

The only way to break the cycle is to allow yourself access to your forbidden foods. When working with clients, they are taught to make a list of their forbidden foods, pick one, and allow themselves access to eat it whenever they feel like it. Yes, they may gain a little weight initially, but with time, they will learn that after 1 or 2 scoops of ice cream they feel pretty good, but after 3-4 they feel sick. They learn how to eat their forbidden foods mindfully, and with time these foods lose their power. They begin to crave a mix of foods, and not just their forbidden foods, listening to what their body needs and giving it a variety or nutrients. 

2) Stop Labeling Food

Stop labeling certain foods as “good” and “bad”. While some foods may be more nutrient-dense than others, there is still room for all foods as part of a healthy relationship with food. 

When you label foods as “good” and “bad” and allow yourself to indulge in a “bad” food, the cycle described in point 1 continues. 

Remove the food labels! Remember - it’s just food! Having a single cookie on a random Tuesday will not tip the scales to the breaking point just as eating one single piece of broccoli won’t magically give you superpowers. There is a time and a place for everything, and that includes food. The best food for you to eat is the food that feels most satisfying to you at the moment. 

3) Eat Meals And Snacks That Are Filling And Satisfying

When something is filling, it simply fills your stomach. You feel full and you do not feel hungry anymore. But when something is satisfying, it leaves you feeling content mentally. With food, there needs to be a balance of both satisfying and filling otherwise you may be left feeling there is more to be desired with food and go on the binge cycle again.

For example, you make a warm quinoa bowl for lunch with roasted veggies, chickpeas, avocado, and your favorite dressing. After the meal, you feel full, but you aren’t satisfied. Maybe you want something crunchy like crackers or something sweet like a piece of chocolate. That is because the quinoa bowl wasn’t satisfying. It filled up your tummy physically, but it didn’t mentally satisfy you.

On the flip side, what if you craved a cookie when you felt hungry and you ate one. The cookie was satisfying, but it wasn’t filling and left you feeling hungry.

You want your meals and snacks to be both filling and satisfying. This is key in avoiding a binge cycle later on in the day. 

Ask yourself two things when you feel hungry. What sounds good to me right now? How can I make this meal/snack both filling and satisfying? 

With practice, this will become second nature to you. You’ll learn how to both fill up your physical hunger sensation and your mental contentment. This will leave less room for thoughts about food after the meal or snack since you have covered both the physical and mental needs of your hunger.

4) Listen To And Honor Your Food Cravings

The best way to stop a craving, the obsessives thoughts, and the late-night binge cycles is to simply give in to the craving. 

For example, you are craving something sweet so instead of having the cookie, cupcake, etc. you have a handful of trail mix with some dried fruit. It might work…but then maybe later in the day or even immediately after you realize you aren’t satisfied. So then you have some crackers, but that doesn’t satisfy you, so you have some popcorn, then pretzels, and before you know it you’ve had 5 cookies. Do you see the problem with this logic? 

Instead of going down the rabbit hole, overeating, and feeling bad, honor your food craving. Use tip number 3 to make sure it is filling and satisfying. So for example, if you have a cookie, have some protein on the side like a scoop of nut butter to make sure it ticks both the physical and mental hunger boxes. 

5) Practice Mindful Eating

The last piece to forming a healthy relationship with food is learning to eat mindfully. There is a lot to unpack for this, but you can read more about it here.

Eating mindfully means you are first asking yourself what we mentioned in point 2, what sounds filling and satisfying? Are you hungry or is it something else? When you find what food it is, eat the food without distractions, taking in the food and honoring your body's natural fullness cues.

I understand that it’s not possible to do this with every meal, as a busy mom I know some meals are eaten at the computer or while driving (yikes!). Do the best that you can to at least ask yourself how you can nourish yourself well and eat something that is filling, nutritious, and satisfying to you at the moment.

This means doing a little game planning ahead of time to ensure you have meals and snacks at the ready. This way you avoid mindless munching or grabbing convenience foods. 

Please remember this is a journey and don’t expect perfection from yourself. Some days you are super busy and won’t be able to eat what you truly want. Other times you can’t sit and eat without distractions and you do need to grab a convenience food. 

These things don’t make you unhealthy, but on the contrary foster a healthy relationship with food - one where you are flexible with your choices, that way food works for your lifestyle, not the other way around. 

Remember - when you stop obsessing over food, it allows you to ask yourself the question, “where do I want to invest my energy?” You will free up all the time invested in food to fulfill other unmet dreams and desires in your life. Isn’t that so much better than stressing over the scale? 

The whole philosophy around My Fruitful Body Nutrition is to nourish your body from the inside and see the fruits of that through amazing health and reaching your dreams. Mindful eating will allow you to do so!