Anyone who has kids or works closely with them, knows they are like sponges. Soaking up every word, action, and behavior of those they are most frequently with. As parents or caregivers, you play an important role in shaping your kid’s healthy relationship with food and body image.

By age 6, girls start to express concern over how their body looks or their weight (1). 40% of girls ages 6-12 are worried about their weight or becoming overweight or obese (1).

We live in a world of labels, fad diets, body shaming, and social media haters. As parents and caregivers, we have been entrusted with precious lives and we have the privilege and big responsibility to ensure these innocent beings are taught a positive and open-minded approach to food.

The goal is to raise autonomous eaters who make their own healthy choices and are confident with the beautiful bodies they were born with.

Here are 5 tips for how to talk to your kids about food.

1) Talk About Appetite

Did you know around 49% of Americans go on a diet, and around 62% do so by eating less food (2)? What if these adults have children at home? Do you think they will pick up on this?

Perhaps these are parents who were raised as part of the “clean plate club” and are now suffering the ramifications of that mentality. Unfortunately, this technique overrides the body’s natural hunger and fullness cues.

What about, “one more bite?”…it’s the same thing. This puts pressure on our kids to eat when they don’t feel like it instead of honoring their hunger.

I like to talk about hunger instead of fullness with kids since the sensation of fullness is naturally delayed in the body due to hormonal signals going from our tummies to our brains. This can take anywhere from 20-30 minutes. Therefore, asking a child if they are full doesn’t account for this delay.

Instead, I focus on if they feel hungry anymore. This is a very subtle difference, but important.

2) Model, Model, Model

I can’t say this enough, but as I mentioned earlier, kids watch and copy everything you do! Yes, you!

It’s typically the non-verbal things we do that kids pick up on most. For example, if you are on a “detox” and they see you only drinking liquids and not eating food. Or you are an emotional eater and binge out with chips and ice cream in the evening.

Working on yourself and your food habits, body image, and confidence is the best thing you can do for your kids. If your kids constantly see you restricting foods or binging, your kids will notice.

Another HUGE thing is being present at mealtimes. Maybe not every meal, but at least designate one meal a day where you sit down as a family to eat together. This is where kids will watch you eat and learn what a balanced diet is all about. That includes letting them see you eat dessert too :)

3) Avoid Labels

I don’t know about you, but I strongly dislike the words, “good” and “bad. In any context really, but especially around food.

You are unknowingly painting a judgmental picture of certain foods when you put labels on them.

Instead of simply labeling food as “good” or “bad”, have candid, age-appropriate conversations about these notoriously labeled foods.

Let’s walk through an example together. Say your child asks you, “are cookies bad for me?” Instead of simply saying, yes, they are bad and bursting all their dreams in an instant, jk, try something like this:

0-3 years old: Cookies give us energy.

3-5 years old: Cookies give us energy, but it gets used up fast, and then it’s gone. Some foods give us long energy.

6-11 years old: Cookies give us a quick burst of energy like pumping your legs on the swing. And then the energy is gone, and you can’t swing anymore. Eating other foods along with the cookie helps keep you pumping away on the swing.

12+: Cookies are fun. Cookies give us a quick energy burst, but it crashes shortly after we eat it. Then we need more energy. If we eat a meal or bigger snack with the cookie, it helps level out the energy and helps us avoid a big crash.

4) Use Body Positive Talk

Do you have negative thoughts about your body? Keep them to yourself! Please avoid using the F word…fat to ever refer to yourself or your children.

If your kids constantly hear you criticizing the way you look or how your tummy hangs or how you dislike your thighs, they will naturally think something is wrong with their body too.

Your kids are going to face many challenges in this world, and they shouldn’t hear criticism or negative talk at home. Use encouraging words to build them up and make confident people who love who they are, how they look, and won’t let the world bring them down.

If your kids start having negative thoughts about their body or hear friends criticizing their body, then talk it out. Don’t be afraid to have conversations with your kids and let them know we are all naturally made different and that is what makes us all unique and beautiful.

Remember; you can have the most beautiful exterior, but if the inside does not match, you will leave nothing to be remembered in this world.

I think of a friend we were having a playdate with, and the dad only called his daughter beautiful. He would say, “what’s up, beautiful?” or “how are you doing, beautiful?” I thought that was the most lovely thing; to speak such positive words over his daughter from a young age to build her up.

5) Let Conversations About Food Come Naturally

No need to lecture or go on about the nutritional properties of foods, kids are still novices.

Instead, describe food in a neutral way that provides them the information they need to try a food or not.

Try to use sensory words to describe food like, “The avocado is smooth and creamy in my mouth. The pepper is red, crunchy, and sweet. I made roasted carrots today, which are orange and sweet-tasting just like sweet potato.”

Using more sensory techniques, allow your kids to cook in the kitchen and talk about how the foods are grown. With older kids, you can go online together and research what makes kale green or how and where mangos are grown.

These are ways for kids to learn more about foods without lecturing them.

What tips will you incorporate more with your kids? Leave a comment.

References:

1. Smolak, L. (2011). Body image development in childhood. In T. Cash & L. Smolak (Eds.), Body Image: A Handbook of Science, Practice, and Prevention (2nd ed.).New York: Guilford.

2. https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/products/databriefs/db313.htm